You’ve probably all heard the saying “Don’t assume, it just makes an a_ _ out of “u” and “me”!” I thought that was pretty funny growing up, especially because we never EVER used cursing language in our home, nor do we now.
But that’s not the point — the point is the message stuck with me, probably because of the scandalousness of the saying, and I simply did not want to make an a_ _ out of anything.
Point taken, no assuming!
Later in life, as a pretty quick learner, I had my first birthday as newlyweds and affectionately received a fishing pole as a gift. To say the least, I didn’t like fishing, but my new prince charming did. And as you can imagine, funds were tight in our first year of tying the knot and this not-so-wise-yet husband thought a fishing pole for his new brides birthday was a great idea.
Hummmmm. Perhaps he was wise, because he did end up with a fishing pole, and I ended up learning a valuable lesson.
I had assumed he would know what I wanted for my birthday, but guess what, that assumption just made an “a_ _” out of both of us.
He clearly did not know, and I had clearly not owned my expectations. In retrospect, I’m thankful for that first birthday disaster, because had we not had it, I likely wouldn’t have learned so early on that if I wanted something, I needed to make it known.
The more clear we could be with each other, and own our expectations, the greater the likelihood of getting what we wanted.
So guess what? I quickly became the expert at throwing birthday parties. Who’s you might ask? Well mine, of course! I can remember a particularly special one I threw myself when I turned 30.
We had recently finished residency and finally were out of the financial woods, and my business was doing well. I decided to throw myself a party at my favorite salon, Acote, on Newbury Street in Boston.
I booked out the Salon and catered the food, and we spent the day there pampering ourselves as the owner, Gaston, had the unique gift of making all of us feel beautiful. The outdoor roof patio was setup with jewelry for my friends to shop, and catered food for lunch, and we all melted into our luxurious day. Now that's what I call a birthday celebration!
Are you owning your own expectations? If you want something, guess what? It’s up to you to make it known and make it happen.
It’s ok if you need to ask for help. It’s ok if you need to ask for what you want. It’s ok if you have to remind your husband or friend that it’s your birthday and you want flowers, or whatever it is. Your job is to make your needs known. Their job is to be a good responder and execute to meet your needs.
And guess what? Your loved ones should get credit even if you have to first make your needs known, even again and again.
So stop assuming that people know what you need. Stop getting frustrated if someone forgets to notice your new outfit, or your birthday, or whatever you assume they should know.
We all think differently, and we all need help and the benefit of the doubt, so stop assuming and own your expectations! I promise, you’ll not only have the best birthdays ever, but you’ll find out it’s much easier than you thought to get what you want in life. Ultimately, It’s up to you.
So take back your power and make your expectations known!