It’s super common to have conflict based on poor communication. This can often happen simply because of stories created in our head, that get us all worked up.
And, if we don’t communicate what we are thinking, feeling, or wanting, then we let that story become reality.
There’s a simple solution to this! You’ve got to say what you mean, and mean what you say!
That’s right. You get to own your words. How do you do this?
Simple. If you want something, say it. Clearly. Make your expectations known.
Why? Because it’s been said that all frustration comes from unmet expectations. So, if you don’t want to be frustrated, then be an advocate for yourself and speak your mind.
Now, I’m not saying you should be demanding, or unrealistic in thinking that everyone, everywhere, should be doing what you say, at your whim. No, that’s not the point.
But the point is, if you have an expectation, then it’s up to you to make sure it’s known, so that you can get what you need and want.
What you can’t do, is beat around the bush, giving clues or hints, hoping that someone figures it out. That’s just a game, and it’s not a game that creates a winning situation.
Here’s how this might play out. You’re driving in the car with your spouse and hint drop: “I wonder if there’s an open ice-cream shop?” He wonders too, and keeps driving. After holding it in for a while, eventually your mood changes and later it’s discovered that your mad because he didn’t make an effort to find you some ice-cream.
What just happened here?? You didn’t make your expectations known! You want ice-cream, and you should have just asked for it. That’s on you!! You’ve got to say what you mean, and mean what you say. This will save you TONS of headaches!
The more clear you are, and specific with your requests, the more likely to get what you want. Don’t ever assume people know what you want or need. They simply don’t.
And, even if you have to make your needs known again and again, that’s ok. What’s on the top of your mind is not on the top of others. They may forget, or may have other things on their mind.
So as long as they can be good responders, then they get credit! It’s your job to make your needs known, and others to be good responders once they know.
Follow this formula and you’ll find communication will come easily and you’ll discover it’s easy to get what you want! Say goodbye to frustrations, because your expectations will be clear!
Are you ready to put this into practice this week? Try making all your communication clear this week by always making your expectations known. You get to own your words! Let us know how this goes!